Part 1 of my series of “Tweets from the Deceased.” (A tweet has to be 140 characters or less.)

Working on my abhorrence of spiders. The only thing I have to fear is fear itself.—Churchill

Can’t do a damn thing with my hair this morning.—A. Einstein

Billie Jean is not my lover.—Michael Jackson

Took forever to get my steak. Told the waiter, do not ask for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee.—Hemingway

Glenn Frey over to dinner earlier. I told him late at night this big old castle gets lonely.—Princess Di

Feeling a little blue. Maybe I’ll take a swim later.—Virginia Woolf

Got carded again today.—Dick Clark

Met a great broad last night. It’s almost like being in love.—Frank Sinatra

I am not afraid of greatness.—W. Shakespeare

I wanna dance with somebody, but I’m just too damn tired.—Whitney Houston

Someone stole my diary.—Marilyn Monroe

I often fool all of the people all of the time. That’s how I get things done.—A. Lincoln

Thinking of taking a road trip with my dog.—Steinbeck

Agent pitched a job to me today. Sit at a desk and talk to people. Doesn’t sound promising.—Johnny Carson

I wish I could just carry my stereo around with me.—Steve Jobs